Zombie Abandonment Poll: A holiday activity

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The right side of my body is a bit for sh*t. And it turns out – so is Sachiel.

As I’ve mentioned in other entries, I’ve been having some issues since September with strain in my right forearm/elbow. I’ve also been having twinges in my right knee, which of course is just fantastic.

One Friday, after a technically challenging erg set, Sachiel & I went out to do errands. In the course of this, we were walking up a set of stairs from underground parking, and just something about the way I put the weight on my right leg to go up the step caused my right knee to take out a cleaver and attempt to sever the bottom half of my leg from the rest of my body.

My response was to make a[n admittedly rather] girly noise of pain and shock. Sachiel, ahead of me on the stairs, started walking up them faster, yelling, “What is it? Are you okay? Is everything all right?” as she’s running away.

Once I recovered and got to the top of the stairs, I made two statements:

1. We’re going to stop at the Sports Chalet in that shopping complex and get me a sleeve knee brace because whatever the frig that was I do not know but have no desire to ever experience it again.

2. Sachiel is a bad friend.

Claris: Dude. You ran away.
Sachiel what was I supposed to do?
Claris: Stay! Help! I could have been in mortal danger!
Sachiel Okay, you know what? Look at you. Now look at me. I am 5’2″ & 3/4. You are a big strong rower type. What could I possibly do to defend you?
Claris: Hello? Safety in numbers!
Sachiel Oh, no. I’ve seen the zombie movies – the people that go back for their friends inevitably end up getting eaten too. Number one rule – don’t go back to save others if you want to survive.
Claris: Did you seriously just say that? You are totally a bad friend!
Sachiel No, I’m realistic. Because I know you, and if there’s something bad enough to make you make that girly scared-girl noise, it’s really bad. Like, ridiculously bad. And if it scares youthat much, the best thing I can do is get myself to safety & see if I can find reinforcements.
Claris: Are you seriously going with the “when scary things get scared: not good” defense?
Sachiel yes. That. Totally that.
Claris: And you’re doing this on a day where I’m your ride home?
Sachiel As long as I’m still alive, I can call a cab.
Claris: Whatever, Zombie Abandoner. Whatever.

When we got to our destination that day, we were still going strong, & upon explaining what happened to the person we were visiting, Sylvie looked at me & went, “So now you know – she is a bad friend.*”
*Due to Sylvie’s country of origin, we also discovered this statement is even funnier when expressed in a French accent.

As such, it’s somewhat possible that in our household, the word “zombie” has become a Pavlovian trigger for Sachiel to begin an increasingly eloquent defense of her actions, which I graciously offered to allow her to present here.

The “girly noise of pain and shock” was a SCREAM. A “OH MY GOD SOMETHING REALLY SCARY AND REALLY HORRIBLE IS NEARBY!!!” scream. The parking garage wasn’t well-lit and I was walking up stairs that were open stairs where something could have been in the process of trying to grab me.

This was the thought process that occurred (more or less):
Lalala. Stairs. Not a fan. I hope I don’t trip.

[Claris' SCREAM OF FEAR!]

%@&^&!!!! WHAT’S WRONG? IS THERE A HUGE SPIDER HEADED TOWARDS ME?! IS THERE A RAT BY THE STAIRS?! IS THERE A SNAKE?! IS THERE SOMETHING REALLY GROSS BY THE STAIRS?! IS THERE A CREEPY PERSON?! OMG! IS THE CREEPY PERSON TRYING TO GRAB ME FROM UNDER THE STAIRS?! MOVE FASTER! FASTER!!! GET AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM THE SCARY!!!

Running was the best option. If Claris were in actual danger, then me and my six months of fitness krav wasn’t going to be of any help to the girl who used to like to beat things up.

By running away, I was putting distance between me and the scary, which would allow me to assess the situation from a safe distance. My sense of self-preservation is strong. I may be selfish, but as at least I’ll be alive when the zombpocalypse occurs.


Truly, 1049 is currently a house divided, and there’s only one solution:

Let the internet decide.

So, what say you, interwebs? Is Sachiel’s Zombie Abandonment approach to friendship valid, or am I right in my “bit for shit” classification of her actions?

Welcome to the Holiday Zombie Challenge.

The Game:
- Get Facebook Like count to 100
- Have a minimum 100 votes in the poll below

Reward:
Whoever the internet proves to have the lesser moral compass will make a $100 donation to Toys for Tots in the winner’s name. Word on the street is that this year, the Marines could use a little extra help.

Deadline:
- December 21st

So c’mon people – share us on your social media, spread the word, get your friends in line and help Sachiel and I decide whose morality should win out. Just remember – it’s for the children.

HeroineAddict.me - Holiday Zombie Poll
source

Step 1

Why the Facebook like count? So that neither side in the argument can stuff the interweb ballot box by simply ditching the cookies on their browser & voting again. 30 people have already liked us, so each of y’all just need to get 2.3 friends to come play the game. Assuming, that is, that you’ve got 2.3 friends…

Step 2

 

Music: Baby You’re Gonna Have to Pay – Victoria (Alcazar) Alcazar - Various Artists


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