sudafed highs, metal chickens & wow – that guy really likes his trophy

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Oh, hello completely useless week…

I ended up getting pretty ridiculously sick this week & thus haven’t been on the water since… last Friday. Which sucks. until this morning, I hadn’t worked out at all in a week, which meant that I wasn’t just sick and hopped up on antihistamines, I was also irritable, because not working out makes me a crabby, whiny, bitchy, baby — a trait that I may or may not have displayed in my phone call to Sachiel as I walked to WholePaycheck Tuesday night to get food because even though I had food in the fridge, I just didn’t have the mental capacity to cook anything, and really?

High on Sudafed + Knives & Open Flame = Potential for “No Good, Very Bad”∞

I’ve got an Art degree & even I can do the math on that one, thanks.

To tide you over in the time between when my drug-induced delirium returns to my normal, completely sober dementia, here’s a couple things that I found this week.


Hi, welcome to the internet. Just… just don’t touch anything for a bit, okay?
Actual profile blurb for someone that started following one of the twitter accounts I manage:

I need to learn about tweeting. I am cheery.

Well… okay then. I feel like I should hire them for my mailroom. If, ya know… I had a mailroom.
If I did have a mailroom, Ernie would totally run it. I just decided that. Crap, now I totally need to get a mailroom…


Oh, gay community, I really do less-than-three you so.
As a straight girl that’s lived in West Hollywood for ten years now, it’s pretty safe to say any conservative tendencies that my Republican-leaning parental figures hoped to instill in me have pretty much been eradicated, what with me having been living around all Teh Gay. Which is why, while this particular article might seem a little off-kilter on its etiquette, it’s no less true — gay protests really do have some really great signs — especially the first one, which is awesome because it’s true.

The most hilariously effective signs supporting gay marriage.


I’m sure the actual clothes are great, but is anyone else thinking of that remark a former Harvard chancellor made re: a certain set of rowing twins?
I’m all about upholding the honor & dignity of the sport of rowing.
(Shut up – I can too. Hey man, I did 13 years in Catholic school, I’ve got pretending to care down.)

But really? The way this company is presenting itself just reminds me of the exchange they gave George Clooney & Eddie Izzard in Ocean’s 13:

Roman Nagel: [about the Greco] He named it after himself.
Danny Ocean: [confused] Wait. Greco? Roman?
Roman Nagel: You obviously haven’t served time in a British boarding school.

The best part of this site is the shot of the guy staring at his trophy.
And if your brain just made that joke, just imagine what my brain thought up.

Rowing is small enough that I’m sure I know someone or I know someone who knows someone that’s involved in this company, but honestly guys – please just go… roll in the mud or do something equally… untoward, because right now you’re totally setting yourselves up to be the douchebags at private school whom cinema has taught us will ultimately meet some sort of humiliating & untimely fate.

Free Shipping $60

Metal Chickens & Mustaches – an office email exchange.
At one point in a conversation about Mexican art, Polgara read me an email from a co-worker who’d just credited her with causing co-worker to spit cous-cous out her nose.
this all makes sense in context. At present, Polgara‘s working on an iPad the size of a 6-person kitchen table. Ours? Not always with “The Normal”.

Meanwhile, I went back to my desk to work on an update for Governance. Governance, you see, is very important — it’s the legal sh*t, & you really don’t want to screw it up. When it comes to Governance, even I set aside the laissez-faire and pay attention.

Or, rather… I tried. Instead, upon returning to my desk, there was the following email exchange:

>>> Polgara 7/28/2011 2:06 PM >>>
re: Martini Cat
I swear I don’t usually write about my cat this much.

>>> Claris 7/28/2011 2:24 PM >>>
Of course right after I closed the door b/c I figured she’d left, OfficeMate showed & I just sat here, repressing laughter at this so hard that I just CRIED a little.
Damn you. ;)
The moustache just… it killed me. KEEEEEEELLLED me ded.

>>> Polgara 7/28/2011 2:27 PM >>>
I KNOW! It’s just so awesome and perfect. You should read the original chicken post, if you haven’t already.
And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

>>> Claris 7/28/2011 2:31 PM >>>
I’m sitting here, silently DYING and I BLAME YOU.

>>> Polgara 7/28/2011 2:32 PM >>>
Seriously, one of the funniest writers I’ve read in a long time. I LOVE HER.
When you’re done with the big metal chicken, go to the homepage and read today’s (yesterday’s?) post about the monkey.

>>> Claris 7/28/2011 2:33 PM >>>


And in closing, I never thought I’d say this but…
Raise your hand if you’re ridiculously proud of Jake Gyllenhaal for this shirt.

That’s it for now, kids — I’ll be back on Monday chock full of non-medicated goodness, and probably posing the current decorating conundrum which is creating stymie in my brain. Yes, that’s right – I said decorating and you’re gonna like it.

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