One step forward, severe danger of cargasm, & thank the gods for 24 hour tea.

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One more off the list…
One of my fellow dolls got a gig up at Big Sur doing an internship in her actual field of expertise. In true Doll fashion, we all wished her well on an escape from LA that didn’t require Kurt Russel or large explosions and then took a look around to see which of her shifts could be picked up to fill in our own gaps.

You see, D pretty much had a lock on this little place called LPC for lunch shifts five days a week. Restaurants are great things for us because they have a much higher cash yield, so those shifts are in heavy demand. With my schedule, I was able to call dibs on Wed & Fri lunch shifts, thus leaving me free to still pick up shifts for other parties in the evenings if I was so inclined.

Wed went fine – LPC is a small place with a tiny parking lot, so it’s not so much a difficult gig as one where you just have to hustle when you’re the only one there. The result being that when I counted out the cash yield for Wed afternoon, the result was exactly the amount needed to finish paying off the 2nd of my three tickets. (I’d had the cash about two weeks ago, but then I had to dip into it to pay for things like, gas and food and… life.)
However, when I counted up, did the addition, & realized I’d ended up with precisely $122 in the Orange Clutch Purse o’ Doom, I figured that was a sign from the cosmos that it was time to ante up & get that out of the way, so one visit to an actual Bank of America teller, 2 hours to let the deposit process & a virtual pit stop at the City of West Hollywood’s website later, I am now two tickets down, one to go. :fist of triumph!:

Really, my only issue with working LPC shifts is the uniform – black pants, white shirt, black vest. This doesn’t sound so bad until you figure in that it’s from 11 – 2:30pm, during the hottest part of the day and it’s in the high nineties in the friggin’ valley. Ugh. First thing I had to do was go home & shower. That right there? Prime example of why I don’t live in the Valley — the temperature dropped ten degrees just in driving home to WeHo.

SwissOutpost and Swiss Knife Depot

Alert! Possible cargasm!
Here’s the thing – when you work for three different valet companies, after a while you can get a little… jaded. In my case, this often means that I simply leave my uniform in the car for a day or two at a shot, change into it when I get onsite, and usually tend not to look up where I’m going until that day without verifying anything beyond the address, never mind the site for the event. Last week, I moseyed off to an address in Bev Hills about two miles from my place for a three-hour shift which as I mentioned to Chalecki made me feel like I was off to see Gilligan.
I did not, in fact, find Gilligan. Intead I discovered I was working an event at the McLaren dealership, which is just… I’m not gonna lie, it was hot. They were unveiling the new model, so as you might guess, the cars of the attendees were also just so sick, I can’t even tell you.

Now, I’ve been a valet on & off for about six years now, and I’ve driven a lot of cars – Hell, I’ve driven a Bugatti. (Sadly, McLaren is one of the few that are still on the “not tried yet” list, along with a Shelby Cobra.) But with the cars that pulled up that night, even I was like, “Oh holy Jesus, look at this hardware…” Multiple Ferraris, a Lamborghini, three Rolls Royces that I saw… it was rockin’.
The problem for a valet company in this situation being… having valets with the experience to actually drive cars of that caliber.

Illustration of this being when one of the guys got into a Lotus & could not start it. Ya know what? We don’t have time for that. I realize that Prem!Co doesn’t do as much high-end or celebrity stuff as I do with the Dolls, but sitting out front of the McLaren dealership with two Porsches behind you & the dealers standing next to the Lotus telling you, “If you can’t drive it, find someone that can” — that is not the time to try your hand at a car like that. The guy was just sitting there & wouldn’t give up on not being able to drive & the dealers were all, “Does anyone here know how to drive this car properly?” So I went, “um, I do.” So they kicked my fellow valet out of the car, instructed him not to go near anything more than a BMW for the rest of the night, & handed it over to me.
(Yes, this event was so up there that a BMW was the common car for the night.)

And for the rest of the night, that’s the way it went – something tricky & high-end came up, & they held it for me to take, which was kind of funny for the event attendees, as I heard several of them remark on the fact that the girl was getting all the expensive stuff. After I parked the Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4, one of the guys Sean looked over & informed me “:sigh: You’re my new enemy.”
I laughed & asked, “Is it because they’re giving me all the good cars?”
“Dude – you just got the Lamborghini & I’m parking a friggin’ Prius!”

Here’s the thing – and this is what I explained to Sean on the walk back to the staging area – yeah, I got the “better” cars, but that also means that it’s my ass on the line if something goes wrong. The garage we were using by the WGA theatre is not big, the driveways are narrow & twisty, and there’s not a lot of wiggle room. So if when I’m going around the turn between the metal railing and the cement wall with that Rolls Royce whose hood appears to reach out Buzz Lightyear style and something scrapes… I’m the one that’s eff’d. Financially, the company will pay for things, but to appease that owner, I’d probably be fired. That’s the risk you take every time you get into a car like that – there is no room for error. Period.

One of the guys found that out when I was off on another run & he decided to go & pick up one of the Rolls Royces even though it was marked as one of the ones that only I was allowed to get. He made it out & delivered the car okay, but afterward he said, “I thought it’d be fun, but holy sh*t, I got in & realized how much that thing was worth & I’ve never been so scared in my life as when I drove that car.” There was really nothing I could say except, “Well, yah. Welcome to my world.”

Will say though – the downshift on the paddle control for the Ferrari transmission is way smoother than the Lamborghini – one of the guys waiting for his car seemed rather proud of me when he asked how I was liking the automotive selection & that was my answer — seems that Ferrari’s been working on that aspect for a bit now, so congrats guys, job well done.

Meanwhile, I still have not driven a damn McLaren. :sigh:

playing at McLaren

my night in a photo - I parked the Rolls next to the Ferrari after I brought the Audi R8 back to its owner.

Nothing says awesome like 24 hour tea.
Finally, the freelancer’s dream has opened in my neighborhood – a 24 hour coffee shop. The Coffee T Bar is totally my new favorite thing. It’s there! Whenever I am! I less-than-three it!

I’d been up during the day already just to make sure I knew where to park, etc. Then after I got out of the McLaren gig, I tried out the 24-hour aspect of it & found that on a Thursday night, it was awesomely chill, which may have to do with the fact that it’s also a hookah bar. Thankfully the space is in what looks like a converted Pinkberry, so there’s a huge long outdoor area, thus making it possible for me to work & not have to smell the smoke from someone else’s Raspberry Dream.

Between the free parking just south of Sunset, comfy couches, protected outdoor space with copious electrical outlets, and unlimited internet access, I think I’ve found the answer to my quandry of attempting to cram design work in while everyone else is sleeping versus the tempting haven of napping that is my bed when I work at home. Add in the fact that the switch from techno to Bon Jovi’s greatest hits would indicate that the playlist is employee-controlled, and I think we have a winner.

Plus on the way out they gave me free cookies. I don’t know which one of you miscreants told them that I’m easily bribed by free food, but hey – it’s workin’ just fine.

Music: Everywhere I Go – Lissie (Why You Runnin’ – EP)Why


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  • http://www.candlemarkandgleam.com Kate

    Ooooh, MCLAREN. *drool*

    How can you not START a Lotus? Or…any car other than a cranker, really? It’s…not like it changes all that much, unless you’re trying to jack it by using the override sequence…

  • Megdalen

    I think McLaren sounds like the last name of a hero in a romance novel.









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