Only a fool is here to stay…

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you ever just have that day? The one where you need to recover from the rest of your life before you can deal with the rest of your life? This morning, I woke up to discover that I’d accidentally slept for 14 hours and admitted to myself that yeah, I needed that day.

Kate had stayed over this weekend, and as much as I love my little rowing sister, we both know that any time she leaves the house, the first thing I’m going to do is clean. (Let’s not even talk about what I did after she crashed here for a month.) Add in that I hadn’t done laundry in almost two weeks, and the first task of the day was clear. Deciding to just go for it, I loaded up the car & took all eight loads (clothing, bedding, towels, just about everything not nailed down other than the couch cushion covers) over to the laundromat.

Brought that back and had to face the fact that I am officially blown. The last year has been kinda ass, the last three months exponentially so, and the last week a grand summation of ass-tassticness. I think my body just kinda gave up. When I’m nervous or stressed out, I tend to throw up. After a while, it just becomes dry heaves, ’cause hey, there’s nothing to come up, but my body’s still freaked out. When Kate was living with me, she just started working the extra time for it into each morning — she’d wake me up an extra 15, 20 minutes early, then go back to bed while I got sick so that I could get it out of my system & we’d still get to the boathouse on time.
On the one hand, I’m pretty sure I’ve logged so much time driving the porcelain bus that I could apply for my CDL. On the other hand, I’m down about 10 pounds and a percentage of body fat. Helluva way to work things, but there you have it.

Funny thing about today was that after I put the laundry in the washers, I actually felt hungry for the first time in … a while. I hoofed it over to Trader Joe’s and got a goat cheese pizza and some pretzel chips – figure I had a crash of protein on Saturday night at the Awesome!Party, some carbs couldn’t hurt. Unfortunately, I need to remember to slow down when my Hunger!Bursts! appear, because my stomach’s not used to large amounts of food anymore, and much like Saturday night’s ridiculously delicious Protein-A-Thon, I ate a wee bit too much and had an overly full tummy after.
Note to remember: Moving from homemade Jamba Juice to solid food after three months should be a cautious transition. very important, that.

Laundry in, shower accomplished, I went to look up the location of the interview I thought I had today & realized, hey, they never confirmed for sure. So I sent off an email to reschedule for tomorrow, took the pizza out of the oven, & spent a couple hours sitting cross-legged on my couch, folding laundry and catching up on my mending while watching Season 4 of Project Runway – god bless Netflixicon, eh?

Plus, while there is a part of me that can just hear thelionforreal saying, “Oh, Christian“, I have to admit that listening to Nina Garcia rag on Ricky & the others about their construction did make me a bit more conscious of my stitching as I reinforced an applique patch on my favorite yoga pants.

…and then the FBI showed up at my door.

No, for real.

Guy used to live here a couple years ago by the name of Kal Penn – you might know him from a little masterpiece called Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle . Well after he moved out of the building right before being named a People Bachelor of the Year (which the rest of us were totally going to rag on him for because hey, here at 1049 we’re all about the love) Kal ended up working for this guy named Obama. Maybe you’ve heard of him.

That said, when I looked out my window & saw two suit-ily dressed people looking back in at me and I cautiously asked, “May I… help you?” the last thing I expected to hear was, “Hi, we’re with the FBI” and get the little black leather ID wallets flipped at me — I don’t know if they started it & tv copied them, or if TV & movies started the trend & now they just show footage in training so people will believe that they actually are the government, but yeah – it looks just like that.

Turns out they were looking for people that knew Kal to do his security check. They were suprised by how easily I was okay with answering questions until I explained that my brother had been in the military so I knew about security checks, and honestly I was just happy they weren’t Jehovah’s Witnesses, so sure, fire away.

Some of those questions are kinda awesome in the messed up way. I’m just sayin’.

We wrapped up, & the guy mentioned that they were happy to finally “hit gold” – guess all of Kal’s LA contacts had moved on & they’d had problems finding people to verify stuff. He asked if anyone else in the building had been here when Kal was, and when I said, “At least two other apartments, yeah,” they looked at me oddly until I snorted & explained, “West Hollywood is rent-controlled, man. Nobody leaves here if they can help it.”

I sent them on over to the appropriate apt., since luckily for the Fibbies, WF’s on unemployment as well, so he was home too. On reflection, I probably should have given WF a scoche more warning considering his occasional hemp usage, but :shrug: they were just standing on the doorstep, so I’m sure he was fine.

Now I sit, out of movies to watch and full of life to face. I’ve got at least one email to write, a psych test for Urban to fill out, and some magical elves to check in with regarding possible work. Interview tomorrow afternoon, another on Wednesday – that one for a server gig in a Japanese restaurant in a hotel that hasn’t opened up yet.

I went to group meditation last Wednesday night, and one of the things that Alyssa talked about was “working from your least agitated state”. I have not been doing that lately, and I need to work on getting there more. Honestly, I think that’s part of what today was – the universe forcing me to just… stop everything for a day and just… be. Just exist. I have to keep reminding myself of that moving forward. Least. Agitated. State.

We’ll see how long that one lasts. Luckily, they have group meditation several times a week – reinforcement can’t hurt – you gotta figure I can do this, right? Right. Totally.

oh boy.

Music: Ice – Sarah McLachlan (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy) Ice - Sarah McLachlan (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)

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