My monkey has red pants!

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Hopefully that works in my favor

In the process of completing a survey as part of a job bid, I finished the Self-Evaluation of Skills where I numerically rated my skills in various software products, programming languages, & miscellaneous skills. In the comments section, I put the following:

“In the survey above, the word “Writing” is spelled wrong.
(I also do proofreading.)”

I’m just sayin’.

Fear the future.

Someone marked a post on pinterest with the caption: “I want to be an Olsen”.

…I don’t know who you are, but I’m really really scared for you.

My monkey has red pants!

Let me start by saying this: I like kids. I do.

Due to the fact that I spent most of my teenage years working as what is now called an au pair* & thus have already raised someone else’s toddler, I don’t presently feel any driving urge to manufacture additional replicants. However, I do like other people’s children & honestly do enjoy interacting with them.
*back then we just called it “babysitting a lot”.

The result is that I am totally the person that stands behind parents at the grocery store & makes faces at your kids so that they laugh & clap and then when you turn around I pretend to be fully absorbed in my iPhone screen, thus causing you to wonder what on earth is wrong with your offspring that they are having spasms of joy over what appears to be nothing at all.

And then, when you turn around, I start making faces at the kids all over again. :thumbs up:


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That said, even I felt a little bad about this one.

I was in Target, & a very cheerful toddler stood up in the cart & began waving at me. As the housewares department normally doesn’t see that kind of enthusiasm, I happily waved back. She obliged by displaying the odd plastic green rubber… thingy that was in her hands (I have no idea what is the new…toy…thing or whatever) and said, “My toy!”

To which I said, “Your toy is very nice. What color is it?” When her face was clearly stricken at not knowing the answer, I said, “It’s green. Your toy is green.”

Toddler was rather delighted by this, and started looking for something. “Monkey!” she proudly said, thrusting out the tiny plush monkey which had been by her feet. “My monkey is green!”

“No,” I told her gently, “Red. Your monkey has red pants.”

It was at this point that her mother decided it was time to move to the next item on her list & we waved goodbye.

However, as I walked around the corner, I heard a small voice saying, “My monkey has red pants!” “Hi! My monkey has red pants!”

And, from my viewpoint, I could look down the line of aisle openings & see that my tiny new friend was indeed now riding the cart through Target, greeting every single person they passed & letting them know that her monkey has red pants.

To her mother:

I am so sorry.

I know what it’s like when I toddler grabs onto an idea & won’t let go, and I realize there’s the very real possibility that you heard about the monkey’s red pants for at least half an hour straight following our conversation, so yes. My utmost, honestly sincere apologies – I had no idea things were gonna go down like that.

Seriously. My bad.
~ Claris

Music: Howie Day – She Says (Stop All the World Now) Stop All the World Now (Special Edition Version) - Howie Day



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  • http://www.candlemarkandgleam.com Candlemark & Gleam

    That is, frankly, beyond adorable.

    Also, I have totally corrected spelling errors in job postings before. Occupational hazard for people like us.

    • http://twitter.com/heroineaddct Claris

      see, on the one hand, I acknowledge the adorable.

      on the other, I’ve heard a toddler attached to an idea. ;)









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