manipulating the internet, skeletons in the basement, & turns out I’ve been in your car

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I’m working on learning about the best way to manipulate the internet — won’t you help?

As part of my inevitable world domination (after which I shall hand things over to Anya to run, I have no patience for administration) I’m working on some SEO stuff.

While I flipped to the new template (that MrWhyt hates) due to functionality, I’m slowly changing things a piece at a time so it’s all so much more… me.

As part of figuring out what works & what doesn’t, while
I know a lot of you comment & Facebook like through the FB listings, if you could get in the habit of doing it here, that’d be rockin’.

Yes, I have a Pinterest account, but stuff like this is why I’m afraid to use it.

Why yes, actually I do turn everything to sh*t by Bloggess

They have a little blurb article on called Expressing Your Love In Your Home. Any time I see something like that, I automatically have the urge to put my finger down my throat and imitate the dramatic huuuuuuuaaawwwwwk noise that I get the pleasure of hearing when Zoey eats grass then goes to the bathroom to throw up. (Yes, my dog throws up in the bathroom. We’ve been in LA a decade, that’s what she picked up. :sigh:)

I need… balance to my cuteness. and possibly learn to become a nicer person.

… eh, who are we kidding — the first one is more likely.

Easy to Use & Fast Delivery at

Well, I am looking to move this fall…

Swedish house up for sale, complete with skeleton
On the one hand, that’s actually kinda cool. On the other, I fear I’d never be able to get Zoey out of the basement — she’d just sit in front of the glass all day, trying to figure out how to get to the treasure trove of chewies…

Not to sound like a stalker, but just so you know, I’ve been in your car.

So last week, I told you the story of how I may or may not have had… an experience with our IT dept desk.

During that, I mention that Abrams & I had a mystery email that disappeared in her attempt to schedule coffee with me. Which for all I know, may have been the cosmos trying to help her.

Well we finally managed to defeat scheduling, the email system, and buck the gods enough to acquire 16oz of sugar & caffeine mixed with a small amount of milk.

In the course of this, Abrams mentioned that her husband worked as one of the South Park animators, which seriously is pretty freakin’ cool to begin with.

But then a thought occurred to me.
I know, I love when that happens to.

And I said, “Okay, this is probably gonna sound weird, but I think I’ve been in your car.”

–> Enter the backstory:
In the course of my time gettin’ my doll on as I ran around Los Angeles wearing pink & parking everyone’s car but mine, one of the parties that we did was the staff party for the South Park 100th Episode. It was up in this out of the way place north of PCH in Malibu, across from (one of) James Cameron’s house(s) — I remember that because James Cameron has these massive black dogs, and when I stand there & say, “Damn that’s a big dog” — that says somethin’.

Anyway, at that time, there were some concerns that the party might get hassled because the South Park crew had been having a small… problem with a certain supposed religious sect regarding an episode involving a certain actor whose name might rhyme with… “Com Schmooze”. It seems that the two parties were having a philosophical difference regarding the fact that Scientology believes they’re full of aliens and the rest of us think… they’re crazy.

Thus, the procedure for this party was that the cars were taking to an offsite lot & then driven back up to the out of the way location. (Incidentally, the event site did involve driving over an actual small body of running water through a rather dark, heavily aborial area, & all I could think of the whole night was Cartman in my head saying something about going over the river & through the motherf*cking woods & Grandma turning out to be a freakin’ Christmas poo.)

But, outside the Secret Garden, back down in the parking lot for the Malibu Public Library, I had an assignment. My mission: to put one of the plush South Park characters into the backseat of each car & seatbelt them in like actual children. (Yes, those were our actual instructions.)

Well, being me, I noticed that a great many of these cars had carseats, which not only filled me with joy at the thought that the people who gave us South Park are breeding to help combat the rabbit-like proliferation in Red States, but also allowed me to amuse myself by situating the dolls into the car seats instead of just in the backseat. Because when you’re spending six hours on a Friday night wandering between a parking lot & a secluded wood in Malibu, it’s the little things that make life better.

Thus, last week I was able to look at my co-worker & say, “…and you got in the car & there was a doll in your carseat. Yup, that was totally me.”


Welcome to LA, people — eventually, you discover that everybody really does know everyone, and the reason the car washes do such great business is that at some point, we’ve probably been in your car.

Music: 5 years time – Noah & the Whale Noah & The Whale

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  • Mr. Whyt

    its not that I hate the current template, its just that its so genric and un-you (or at least the you that exists in my head and is formed from 1 real life meeting and 10-ish subsequent years of interweb communication)

  • Robyn

    Hmm. You know, I think for me the thing is that while I like that you’re pushing it in a more professional direction, I think you might’ve gone just slightly too far and at first glance it kind of looks like the website of an office supply store. The text is easier to read now.. but I don’t know. Maybe some interest on the sidebars?

  • claris

    Oh, I know it’s plain, but I purposely picked one that I could upgrade without having to rip a lot out of. The original colors were like, black white & red, I kid you not. I’m just slowly picking my way through the template one aspect at a time…

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