ironic irony, completely reasonable tasering, & culinary breakup sex

Because sometimes, irony is kind of ironic that way
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Thank you, that would totally be my reaction

Breakup sex with my bad culinary boyfriend.
So as of late, I’d taken to referring to bread as my bad boyfriend — I know it’s not my friend, & I should just leave it be, but when it’s there it just feels so good, even though I know I’ll feel guilty afterwards… oh good bread, you’ve caused me many a gastrointestinal walk of shame, you tempting, tasty satisfying bastard, you.

However, in the last month, I managed to give up bread & wheat for two whole weeks so that we could test a theory regarding wheat that’s been circulating for a while — namely that I may be allergic to it. Or at the very least, sensitive enough to have a reaction.

The easiest way to test this is to give it up for a while, then have some and see what happens. When Damian first suggested this to me, I was like, “Well, how will I know if I’m having a reaction?” He laughed & said, “Oh, don’t worry — you’ll know.”

Because the thing is, if all you have is a sensitivity, then you’re not like say, someone with celiac — the reaction won’t be horribly severe, because your body can work around it once there’s a tolerance, it just has to work harder, and that can be expressed by retaining extra weight, having a skin reaction, etc. Just enough to be annoying, but nothing so big to warrant medical attention. So one way to test this is to give it up for a while, let everything flush out of your system & basically allow your body’s tolerance for it to wane, & then re-introduce it and… see what happens.

So for two weeks, I went off wheat. which, really… sucked. But it can be done.

Then, I had a spinach & cheese frozen pizza from CPK. In terms of junk food, that one is pretty low on the totem pole, but still – crust=bread.

Holy crap migraine.

Within an hour, my stomach hated me, & my head was all, “What did you do to us? :insert obscene gesture here:”

…which I’m guessing is what Damian meant when he told me I’d know. Awesome.

So at Crew Classic this past weekend, I did what any girl does with a boy who’s got the hurts so bad, but feels so good vibe — one last round of culinary breakup sex before I left. I had hamburgers with the bun on, I had real pizza from a pizza place, (which I just can’t even remember the last time I did that)… and the Sunday morning, I had my favorite breakfast in the world, a bagel with cream cheese.
Technically, my favorite breakfast in the world is a kosher salt bagel toasted with actual sliced lox & cream cheese, but San Diego is sadly not New York, so I had to work with the resources I had at the time.

On the way home, I even stopped & got McDonald’s, complete with strawberry shake… which is when I learned that I’ve totally lost my taste for McDonald’s because I couldn’t even eat the fries. Sad.

Before I drove down, I took all my baking supplies of white flour & white sugar, packed them up, & left them with the kids at the House of Wind & Sea where I was staying — barring special request, it’ll be a while before I start baking again, & when I do it’s going to involve copious consulation with Shauna’s site since she’s already done all the experimentation work, so there was really no reason to have the six pounds of flour, four pounds of white sugar, two pounds of brown sugar, three bags of chocolate chips, box of baking chocolate & that last batch of brownies that I left in their fridge.

I mean, let’s be honest – I know how to do this. I’m an adult, & an athlete, & I’ve been in & around people who are far more serious about their nutrition & training than I am for almost six years now, so just by sheer osmosis I’ve got a good amount of knowledge as to how this works. It’s just a matter of actually… doing it, and doing so for longer than, say… three days. I just need to actually set up my life to bring food with me most of the time, & make the proper decisions when out in the world…

…and not think about the fact that it’s only been a day & a half, it’s 12:39 in the afternoon & I really totally want a cookie.

:sigh:

Today’s sing-a-long song
… is for @samhlee, who needed a musical pick-me-up.

You Got Me – Tristan Prettyman

Music: All I Want is you – Tristan Prettyman Live Session (iTunes Exclusive)