I look at the ground & give the sky the middle finger…

So last week just… sucked. Big giant monkey balls kinda sucked. To start with, I was sick. Now, I’m not normally sick, and for the most part when I am, I can muddle through. I’ll be annoyed & surly, but things still get done.

This time? Not so freakin’ much. As I used to joke about the end of a 2k test, “My body just made an obscene gesture at me & died.”

The pinnacle of this being when I was coaching a Sculling I on Thursday morning, turned to say something to a student on the wrong side of the dock and… fell off the dock.

Yes. Totally. Fell off the dock. Fully clothed. In layers. In jeans. With sneakers on.

With my cell phone.

:pause for a moment of mourning:

Oh yeah. and it’s not even like the phone got fried, but I could transfer the SIM to another unit. No. I came out of the water, the phone didn’t. For all I know, it’s still down there next to the dock, watching the boats come by until its little battery gives out. Which reminds me:

Dear environment:

I’m sorry I accidentally disposed of electronic waste in an irresponsible manner.

My bad,
Me.
—————————-
I kinda liked my old phone, man. I really did. Thankfully I’d just gotten a freelance check so it didn’t break me economically, but there’s $250 I didn’t get to put towards tuition, ya know?

Due to the fact that I’m not due to upgrade until Jan of next year, my new phone is not as awesome as my old one. it’s all right, but I liked the old one better.

It also means that I have to reconstruct my entire address book, which is both a pain in the ass & also kind of freeing.

Pain in the ass: having to email people (including clients) and ask for their numbers
Freeing: deciding that I don’t need to keep certain people’s numbers anymore, even just in case.

Because yeah – if I get caught no longer having people’s numbers, I can now just say, “Oh my god, I must’ve lost it that time I fell in the marina! I’m so sorry.” In some cases this will be sincere. In some cases, a polite excuse. How can you know the difference? I’m not telling.

I actually brought the first phone I used back & traded it for another, because the first didn’t have conversation view for the texts, and having each twitter come across individually was driving me freakin’ beserk. That’s when I learned the spiffy thing at AT&T where the minute you walk out of the door, there’s a $35 restocking fee – even if you have the phone for less than a day. What? Since when is that cool? For realsies? However, my $35 got credited off my bill, mostly due to the fact that I think I scared the salesguy with the power of my raised eyebrow and quiet inquiry of, “Are you freakin’ kidding me?”
Note: When I’m upset or annoyed, I’m kinda noisy. When I hit actual anger & am just freakin’ done — that’s when I get very quiet & either stop talking to you altogether, or speak to you very quietly & calmly. I have been informed this is scarier than any yelling ever could be, so should you ever find yourself in this position, I suggest you run.

Bright spot of that, since I refuse to get an iPhone & there’s no internet usage on my account, I only pay about $50/mo for my cell, so now I don’t have to pay my bill this month. Yay no bill-paying!

My new phone also came with Tetris already built in. This is fantastic for me, as Tetris is one of the few things I require in my phone since I use it as a time-waster galore and general method of calming myself before job interviews. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little Tetris-obsessed. However, based on today’s comic, it seems the guys at xkcd feel the same way:

Music: Dumb Girls – Lucy Woodward