Ernie’s Adoptaversairy! Also? Expectation vs. Reality.

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So, remember how, around this time last year, I was going to foster this Chihuahua mix because Dao guilted me into it? And how I was totally only going to keep him for the weekend just so they wouldn’t gas his skinny little ass?

…and thus entered Ernie into our lives.
Much to Zoey‘s deep chagrin.

Also? Holy crap lookit how skinny he used to be.

As such, despite several attempts by his older sister to sell Ernie to gypsies for a quarter, Ernie survived his first year with us. And since we’d don’t know his actual birthday, it’s been decided to make Valentine’s Day his Adoptaversairy Day, so today, Ernie turns seven.

In fact, Ernie comes into his seventh year having learned many important things.

Things I Have Learned!

by Ernie.


Expectation vs. Reality: the Adoptaversairy Version


Now, considering the way our house is, you’d probably hear the word “Adoptaversairy” and think “Oh holy jesus, you like, put the dog in a hat, didn’t you?”

source: Huffington Post

No, indeed I did not.


Reality: POO. omg, people. So. Much. Poo.

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Instead, we’ve spent the last two days with a puggle whose tiny tummy was hugely upset, an event that he kicked off my walking up onto my bed and vomiting – luckily, I was awake and thus able to cry out in alarm as I quickly stripped the topsheet off before it could soak in — to be honest, the part that took the longest was convincing Zoey that no, get up for real. Dammit Zoey, this is not a drill, get off the bed!

And such has it been. But only at night.

Two nights in a row Ernie has graced the floors with unintentional cow pies, the likes of which have reminded me of why I prefer hardwood flooring (which we do not have in the bedrooms) and have caused Ernie to hide under my desk out of shame until I coaxed him out to assure the poor baby that I wasn’t mad.

However, some advice from Auntie Anya & two 1/4 tsp doses of Pepto Bismol later, we seem to be on back on the right digestive track, thank $deity.
Thus, with a (arguably) more refined sense of decorum & a markedly more stable intestinal system doth Ernie enter the age of 7. Personally, I’m just hoping that this year involves such valuable things as finally getting The Ernie Noise recorded for you guys, maybe helping Sachiel figure out how to hold a puggle, & the vague notion that Ernie will become blasé enough about his security for the separation anxiety to ease just a bit — at least enough that his sister will no longer exercise the one thing she’s found Ernie to be useful for: Getting him to do shit, as she did one night when I shut them out of my room in the hopes of being able to eat in peace, and instead started the video on my phone because I… heard something.

I know this will seem odd at the beginning, but just… hang out & wait for it. Trust me.

Happy Adoptaversairy, lil’ man. Next year though… I’m totally gonna see if Auntie Mia can find you a tiny party hat.

Music: Twenty-three – Tristan Prettyman Twenty Three - Tristan Prettyman

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  • Lisa Cronin

    Ernie wants to be with youuuuuuu!

    • Claris

      as I said in the video, it’s a good thing he’s a dog, or there’d probably be a restraining order involved. ;)

  • Electric Landlady

    Awww! Happy Ernieversary to all!

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