One of the ads that I answered this week was for a focus group. Due to population, LA is a breeding ground for market research. Craigslist is littered with them. Are you depressed? Do you have problems urinating? Has your purebred dog turned blue & started showing signs of depression while failing to attempt to urinate? You name it, there’s probably someone on craigslist willing to ask your opinion about it.
For most of these, I don’t qualify. I’m a 29 year old Caucasian female with virtually no medical history – not nearly interesting enough.
However, in my perusal this week, I happened across one where I seemed to fit their criteria and at $20/hr, I’m willing to drive up Laurel Canyon and give my opinion on social issues for 2 or 3 hours. After all, that $40 -$60 will fill my gas tank & buy some food for the week.
So I mosey on up to one of the bajillion nameless office buildings on Ventura Blvd. Upon walking in, I discover this particular building used to be a bank – or at least that’s what I’m hoping since directly behind the desk is a giant safe door. Otherwise, as a fan of sci-fi, I have to admit my brain went to a whole other place of what evil lies behind this simple corporate facade… mwahahahahaaaa…. :insert Dr. Horrible here:
:ahem: Anyway, moving on…
One of the interesting things about this type of activity is the people that show up for it. As always, there are entertainment aspirings that haven’t made it yet, but also due to the economic times, just about anyone from any walk of life. As much as the news tries to tell us things are getting better, the effects of the Bushonomics are still present for the little folks, no matter how steadily the Big Banking Boys are starting to recover. Clearly I’m not the only one who’s up to earn a little cash this weekend.
There’s a telling sign of humanity – we can’t help but share. If you put a group of people in a room, eventually they’re going to start talking to one another. Everyone craves a connection, no matter how fleeting and few things display that as well as a waiting room full of slightly nervous people as they slowly begin to talk to one another. As the clock crept past our original call time of 1:00, conversation started to circle the room on everything from grandchildren to car repairs, to how bad the school uniforms were in the 1970′s.
Note of self-awareness: I’m not counting myself as immune – after all, I’m sharing this with you.
Due to the fact that I am admittedly a jaded bitchy sort who after years of economically-required customer service pleasantry really doesn’t like people, I have chosen not to participate and am instead idly leafing through an issue of Time from August talking about the healthcare question (the answer to which I swear will turn out to be 42
) and reading an article on Judd Apatow’s movie Funny People, which now that I know what it’s about, I’ll probably NetFlix. (God, I love Netflix – I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of sad.)
1:51pm
At this point, I’ve been here almost an hour. The woman running things has walked out & selected several people to follow her into the office. Her choices are seemingly at random, and I am not amongst them. Some people exit within minutes, while others are still in there, presumably doing…whatever mystery thing it is that they want an opinion on today. Personally, I don’t care if I’m in the last group as long as I get paid for this time in the waiting room. Across from me, one aspiring Hollywood writer is extolling to another regarding the virtues of quitting smoking, and I fear this may descend into some impromptu spiritualism… wait for it… yes! There it is – “We’re all going to die one day, but how do you want to live?” They better call us soon, ’cause suddenly I feel like Mel Gibson’s going to show up with blue paint on his face.
Oh thank god – there we are. Just in time.
Normally, this would be your normal “we took a blank room and put a table & chairs here to pretend it’s a conference room” set up, but this room has a wall of mirrors and a video camera positioned to record us. (See, it’s not just me – when I said it like that, your brain went to the porn joke too, didn’t it!)
The woman in charge of A/V places a mike between myself & the guy next to me — due to what I’m guessing was an unforeseen dearth of technical equipment, it’s on a rather short wire and held up by dint of them placing the stem of the holder in a glass & shoving the glass full of tissue to keep it upright. Not the most stable set up ever, but hey – do whatcha gotta do to get it done.
Unfortunately, the guy next to me clearly hasn’t worked in a “by hook or by crook” methodology of output, since he felt the need to remark to the woman that they really needed a longer cord. In doing so, he also managed to turn, pull the wire on the floor, and cause the setup to fall off the table. Luckily for the A/V woman, my years of working in the service industry including nightclubs has the odd benefit of being able to catch things drunk people are drop before they hit the floor and create an even greater mess, so all was not lost — a skill that I would use at least three more times in the next hour, since this guy really just didn’t understand the concept of “just don’t touch that, okay thanks.” This probably isn’t a shocking thing, considering that Mr.WonderMike had the following exchange with the assistant:
Mr.WM: You know, you could use a longer wire.
A/V Assist: Yes sir, we thought they were going to have wire here.
Mr.WM: because an extension wire is really cheap to buy. You can get them anywhere.
A/V Assist: Thank you sir. I actually have plenty of extensions, we just didn’t bring any today because the client was supposed to supply.
Mr.WM: Okay, but you really could have used a longer wire here. Next time you should bring an extra in case.
A/V Assist: Yes, thank you. I’ll try to remember that.
…and now we all know who volunteered to be hall monitor when he was in school. Jeezum.
Finally our ringleader – I mean group moderator shows up & explains that today, we’ll be doing a discussion regarding the Muslim community in the U.S. & how they’re portrayed in the media. If anyone has an issue with this topic, they’re welcome to leave at any time. Suddenly the exodus that I saw from the last group makes sense.
Personally, I don’t care either way – heck, one of my clients is an organization that works to create awareness about Muslim culture in Hollywood, so I’ve got no beef with the topic. Bring it on, Marketing Man!
What was interesting to watch was seeing people who were trying to express their opinion without appearing in any way prejudiced. At first, people were extremely cautious in their responses, and then as the discussion progressed, those barriers were broken down and people just, well they took it to the mattresses.
After about twenty minutes of debate, they showed us a short news clip from Arizona, about a guy named Zuhdi Jasser, a doctor in Arizona who it seems is working towards trying to create a clearer division between the politics of American democracy & what is taught in mosques.
Honestly, whether it’s the truth of the matter, or just the way that the news station slanted the piece, I have to say given the choice between the prominent surgeon who led Muslims Against Terror rallies after 9/11 or the militant mosque leader who’s willing to stand on an American news channel & think it’s reasonable to assert that the United States should become a government ruled by Islam law, I’m siding with the Doctor. But maybe that’s just my aversion to having to row in a burqua.
What I found interesting about it is that we were read a short mission statement, & asked how we felt about it. As someone that worked in & around marketing for almost a decade in L.A., it’s not hard to figure out that hey, Dr. Jasser’s organization is testing themselves for a wider exposure to mainstream America. I am kind of proud of them for doing the market research beforehand, though – way too many non-profits just launch stuff with no consideration other than that their volunteer coordinator liked the color orange.
So we sat there & discussed the pros & cons of the message — after a while, the moderator & I totally descended into a marketing debate of how to create a message that would appeal not only to the average American, but also how to begin to reach Muslim youth in a way that would give them the courage to break away from the more militant messages so prevalent in some mosques across the country until I think we both realized that a) I was not really an ignorant participant in this debate, and b) we’d left most of the rest of the group behind about three exits back.
Luckily, time was up, so we were all paid our $40 cash and released back out into society. On my way out, I wrote my client’s name on a piece of paper and told the guy that on the off chance this was possibly being run by Dr. Jasser’s group, this was someone they might want to explore a professional relationship with. The moderator seemed both surprised & pleased, so I took that moment to slip out before they could decide that as a marketing professional I threw off their results… la la la…
Exiting the building, I ducked Mr. WonderMike’s attempt to chat me up (srsly? no, fr rlz.) and watched as two of the participants exchanged cell phone numbers so they could arrange a playdate with their respective grandchildren.
All in all, not a bad day. As I rolled down Laurel Canyon (you really don’t drive south on Laurel so much as just let on & off the brake) I figured hey – there are worse ways to net $40 on a Saturday afternoon. And despite my initial misgivings on seeing the Wall O’ Mirrors, this method didn’t even involve Jumbo’s Clown Room!
Good times, good times…
Music: For You I Will (Confidence) – Teddy Geiger 
in the 
. I think I’ve finally figured out why it is that this version is irksome for me. There may be an entry on this later.
